1.
I don’t want to be anywhere other than in this body right now. In every ache and tense muscle. In every uncomfortable step. In every fluid movement guided by a melody somebody was kind enough to create. I want to dance in ever expanding circles. Slow and sensual. Wild animal like. Unrestrained. Unlearning each day these strange restrictions we placed on physical movement. Unlearning inhibitions. Unlearning the last ties to shame for having a body at all.
What an incredible miracle to have this precious flesh to move around in. These beautiful bones linked to one another so precisely and with such care. The tenderness of tendons and ligaments holding everything in place just so. The sweet regeneration of cells. How much this body sustains and facilitates. How much this body loves me.
Thank you feet, thank you knees, thank you thighs and hips and belly, thank you vulva, thank you red organic organs, thank you heart, thank you arms and fingers, thank you spine, thank you neck and skull and brain, thank you skin and hair and nails, thank you nose and ears and eyes and tongue, thank you voice, thank you gravity, thank you space. I am none of these things. I am in lifelong relationship with all of these things. How do I care for this body as much as this body cares for me?
And see, then, how the notion of body expands, in wider and wider circles, to encompass all matter within and all around. I want to embrace embodiment with such enthusiasm I re-member myself as every living thing. And so, to live, completely.
2.
I am a self-facing performance
Looking in on an amalgamation of patterns
Singularity and multitude depending on the way the camera focuses
I want to meet you, but get caught in my own way sometimes
My arms reaching while my eyes look swiftly over your shoulder
I notice how often we hug each other (closeness)
And then upon moving out of the embrace we avoid each other’s gaze (distance)
But I want to look you in the eye as we separate
Maybe something about two bodies disentangling is too painful to acknowledge
The fundamental grief of humanness is that we cannot merge our-selves completely
(Oh, we try, we try, it’s nice, but
You come, and go
And I have to go to the bathroom)
I will never know you wholly
I can just revere your holiness
In solitude I deep-dive easily into metaphysical overview
It’s peaceful there and it’s resolved like God
Cradling the whole thing
Except
That work is already done
It’s already been completed
Now it’s about meeting
And being met
Now it’s how my human heart sets itself ablaze in the profound mystery of the Other
Reconciliation of difference
A balancing between physicality and Spirit
Presence and absence
Love and the false void of human suffering
(Real or not real; it matters very little in the realm of experience)
I am an open book with some pages still stuck together from bad weather over time
(Humid, cold fucking cellars and poor maintenance)
I will tell you my story and you may tell me your story
And I will close my eyes to see your life move like a picture reel in front of me
And this is how we tie our separated threads
Together
I Love You
It’s the bravest thing I have to offer
A steady safe plateau floating in a vast particle sky
A pliable Universe in every possible direction
Raise the sails, unanchor your plans
This – is going to be fun
Yvet Youssef 